Struggling with getting your child to practice the piano? You're not alone.
Creating and maintaining a consistent practice schedule is the most common obstacle when it comes to learning to play the piano.
Is the struggle to practice a sign that your child doesn’t enjoy playing piano? Not necessarily! Even students who love playing the piano need help overcoming practice challenges. There were certainly phases in my youth when I encountered resistance to practicing.
So take heart, piano parent, you are not alone! But what is a parent to do? How do you strike the balance between encouraging musical growth and avoiding a meltdown? With experience as a student, teacher, and parent, I’m here to answer the ultimate question: “What do I do when my child won’t practice piano?”
Understanding Why My Child Won't Practice Piano
Why won't they practice? It can be frustrating watching your child refuse to play something they seemed to enjoy initially. Despite piano lessons being my favorite activity, there were times I didn’t want to practice either! When resistance pops up, it’s important to understand why. Several factors could be at play:
Short Attention Span: Learning to play the piano takes time, hard work, and dedication. It also rewarding, soul-filling, and fun. But in a world full of instant gratification, students sometimes need encouragement to develop the attention span required to master an instrument.
Lack of Interest: Sometimes, children lose interest. That’s natural! Activities that once seemed intriguing can lose their appeal.
Lack of Home Support: We know our children need to practice, but we don’t always know how to best support the habit.
Wrong Musical Difficulty: Music that is too easy or too challenging can lead to frustration and avoidance. No one enjoys working above or below their abilities.
Lack of Time: School assignments, sports, and other family activities can crowd out practice time.
Understanding these reasons is the first step towards overcoming resistance.
Ask Your Child
When your child expresses resistance to practicing, get curious. Go directly to the source and ask your child.
Listen: See what your child has to say. They may have more insights into their practice resistance than you would expect.
Adapt: See what changes you can make with the home routine to support your child’s practice routine.
Communicate: Share with your child your expectations for their commitment to piano lessons. Some parents and studios require a year-long commitment.
Involve the Teacher
A good teacher can make a world of difference. They're not just there to instruct but to inspire.
Communicate: Share your child's struggles with their teacher. Most likely the teacher is already aware of the situation and will be thrilled to hear from you.
Request Feedback: Ask for specific areas where your child can improve and how you can provide additional support at home.
Develop a Coordinated Plan: The teacher may have already been working with your child during their lessons to problem-solve the practicing situation. Through a conversation with the teacher, you can develop a multi-pronged approach to help your child overcome their practice challenges.
Remember, your child’s success at the piano takes a team effort involving you, your child, and the teacher. You know your child and family best and can provide valuable insight the teacher might not otherwise know. Teachers have seen it all before and can often provide valuable advice from their experience. Together, you can make a great team!
Encourage Rather Than Demand
Demanding practice might lead to arguments. Instead, focus on encouragement.
Get Involved: Don’t just ask or remind your students to practice, but sit with them during their practice session. Observe their practice session. See if they understand their assignments and various practice techniques. Ask them to “entertain” you while you clean or cook (that’s what my mother did) or request frequent “performances” of their pieces. When your children see your excitement over their daily routine, they will begin to light up as well.
Positive Reinforcement: Praise their efforts, not just their achievements. When you notice them voluntarily practicing, point it out and celebrate their efforts!
Ask Questions: Ask your child what new music they are learning or which sections are challenging. Ask them what they are celebrating in their playing lately or what they enjoy practicing. Asking questions shows your interest not only in the result of their efforts but in the process as well. Using these techniques can turn practice into a more positive experience.
Emphasize the Joy of Music
Sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in technicalities and forget the bigger picture: music is art, expression, and joy. Help bring the joy of music into your home beyond piano lessons in the following ways:
Attend Concerts Together: Seeing live music can be highly inspiring. Plus, there’s nothing like watching a child’s sense of awe when watching a master perform on an instrument they are learning.
Music Appreciation: In your home or in your car, listen to different genres. Expand beyond your typical musical preference (and be sure to play solo piano music as well!) Discuss what you like and why. Doing so gives your child dreams of what their musicianship could become.
Link Music to Emotions: Encourage your child to express their feelings through music. At first, that might be by selecting music to listen to when they are sad, happy, or angry. Later, they might choose to express their emotions through the music they choose to play, or even create, as their skills increase.
Helping your child connect emotionally with music can reignite their passion and help them work harder to overcome their practice challenges.
Create a Distraction-Free Practice Environment
Would you want to practice in a distractable setting? Probably not. The same goes for children. A calm, comfortable, inviting environment can make a big difference.
Set a Routine: Establish a consistent time for practice. Predictability helps. Most of us thrive on routines. Whether it’s knowing that practicing is the first thing they do after they come home or expecting the reminder alarm to go off at 5:00 every day, knowing where and where practicing fits into the busy day is a game changer for overcoming practice challenges.
Limit Distractions: The piano should be in a quiet, distraction-free area of the home. If that environment is impossible to create, try to keep the natural noise and hustle of a busy home to a minimum while your child is practicing. I know that can be a challenge, but can help your child’s efforts.
Encourage your child to see practice time as a normal part of their day, not a chore. If you want additional tips, check out my post 6 Ways Parents Can Help Their Child Practice Piano
Practicing Doesn't Have to Be a Battle
Getting your child to practice piano doesn't have to be a battle.
So, if you found this article because you search "my child won't practice piano," take a step back and a deep breath.
No matter what, choose to prioritize your relationship with your child over getting them to practice piano. That doesn’t mean they have to quit taking piano lessons or continue lessons without practicing. But it does mean that some things might need to change. Whether that is the practice set up in the home, the amount of extra-curricular activities in the family, the type of music your child is studying, or even the teacher you are working with.
By understanding the crux of your child’s challenges with practicing, you will be equipped to transform practice time into an enjoyable part of their routine. Remember, it's about fostering a love for music that can enrich their life in so many ways. After all, every great musician started where your child is today.
If learning the piano is on your list (or the list of someone you know), I would be honored to help in the journey.
It is my true joy to bring the joy of music into hearts and homes through personalized remote piano lessons that will leave you feeling inspired and accomplished.
The process is simple:
1. Schedule a call to talk about your goals.
2. Select a lesson time.
3. Take your first lesson!
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